Growing up for me was pretty normal, aside from my brother being an addict. I grew up with 2 loving parents who worked to provide us with everything that we needed. Regardless of our good upbringing, drugs completely took over my brother’s life at a young age. This put a significant amount of stress on my parents, which led to them getting divorced while I was a sophomore in high school.
Fast forward quite a few years to me being a wife and mother, my life was about to change big time. I didn’t really know what had led me down the path of addiction for a long time until I realized that maybe addiction runs in the family. There were no drugs or alcohol in my home, it was a clean household. Due to my perfectionist personality, I began getting burned out, leading me to become stressed and burned out. I thought drinking a little bit would relax and help me keep going strong, but I was totally wrong. My addiction kept me isolated and pushed everyone that I loved, away from me. When I was around my friends and family drunk, I was belligerent and rude, to say the least. My family was extremely disappointed with my choice to keep drinking and they lost all trust in me.
The lowest overall point in my addiction was becoming an addict while I was a MOTHER & WIFE, that part hurt me the most. It would be one thing if I was an addict on my own, but once I began putting my relationship with my son and my husband on the line, I knew I was in danger. I had gotten into trouble with the law eventually but that didn’t stop me from drinking… That is when it truly hit me that I had a SERIOUS problem, and it was time for me to finally seek help. I confessed to the Judge that I needed help, and she honored my decision. Come to find out that her son had gone through the program at GCH, and she knew it was the right/best choice for me to overcome my addiction.
Throughout the recovery process, the most challenging thing for me was leaving my 1-year-old son. I was a stay-at-home mom seeing him all day every day for a year, but now I had to leave him for treatment. It was heartbreaking for me. I needed to have strength for my son and husband, and also for myself. I needed to beat this addiction. I have found strength in God and leaned into Him. His strength and mercy made me feel like I wasn’t alone anymore, I now had Him by my side. I HAD to get this right for my son and my husband, they deserve to have a fantastic mother and wife, which in my addiction I am not. During the program, my family has played a HUGE role in supporting me and my recovery. They are helping to take care of my son, visiting me whenever possible, and giving me nothing but encouragement. I cannot thank my family enough for their true selflessness.
Jesus loves you, and God has a plan for you. Although we may not believe that while stuck in our active addiction, it is TRUTH! If you’re hurting, please seek help. I know how hard it is to wave that white flag of surrender, but your life is worth so much more than a life of addiction and heartache.
My life has changed in such amazing ways since coming to Grace Centers of Hope. I am finding out who I am in Christ, which is an amazing feeling. My relationship with my husband is so much stronger, and I am now a more present mother to my son, which he truly deserves! GCH is slowly turning me into the woman that my son and husband need, and the woman that God will be proud of.
