I had a really great childhood, one that any child would want. I have TONS of amazing childhood memories, my family always tried to have fun. My parents were extremely supportive, and always loving. Never ONCE did I doubt whether I was loved or not. I’ve often wished to go back to that happy point in my life…
Despite my supportive family life, my self-esteem began to tank around age 12. I began having problems with anxiety and depression very severely. I began to self-medicate, thinking that was the easiest solution to my problems. I began losing friends and family left and right, the longer that my addiction dragged on. The reason I lost so many friends and family members is because I was very uncomfortable to be around during my addiction, I was a ticking time bomb. The damage I did to my family relationships still hurt me the most, by far.
The lowest point in my addiction was when I began endangering others by driving drunk, I didn’t care who it would hurt. I spent quite a bit of time in jail, and constantly lied to the ones that I loved… At 40 years old, my parents had to kick me out for the last time which made me realize that I was truly out of control. I had to do something drastic with my life if I wanted to have a life worth living.
I now realize that I don’t need drugs to enjoy my life, that was all in my head. Shortly after coming to Grace Centers of Hope I also realized that living with drugs in my life was INCOMPATIBLE to a life worth living! My want for a better life is what continues to give me the strength to keep on fighting.
My family has been amazingly supportive during this hard time in my life. They have shown me grace and forgiveness, when I deserved and expected NONE. I also have a great childhood friend who has visited me and sent care packages and wants me to succeed as well. He has taught me to never give up, no matter how far you believe that you’ve fallen. Recovery is possible when you finally agree to reach out for help. IF help is available, it’s up to you to accept it.
After some months at Grace Centers, I can see my life coming together again. I actually have HOPE that I will achieve the life that I want! My family doesn’t simply just want to “talk” again, they actually want me AROUND THEM! All I can say is that you should NEVER give up, no matter what. No matter how many times you get knocked down, keep on getting back up.