Life growing up was dysfunctional for me. My life was filled with drugs, alcohol, and sexual abuse as well. I never developed a drug problem until I was a bit older. My baby’s father was on drugs, and I didn’t know it… Once I found out, I decided to leave him. Instead of getting himself the help that he needed, instead, he kidnapped me and force-fed me drugs for 2 weeks straight so that I would know how he felt. I never had much clean time after that…
I began to isolate myself and I completely stopped participating in family events. I constantly lied to them, all trust had been broken at this point. I also stole from them constantly, so they didn’t really want me around. I got to the point where I was out of money, and nobody else would help me. To continue feeding my addiction, I began to sleep with men for money. I slept with total strangers because my life revolved around getting high. I was losing weight at a dangerous pace, my health was failing me, and I was homeless. I lost all my self-esteem and my confidence. I was lost, and believed that God didn’t love me…
The first feat I wanted to achieve while getting sober was forgiving those who had harmed me, and forgiving myself as well. As time went by in the program, I began to realize that through God all things are possible. By tearing down that brick wall that had me in bondage, I then began to walk a path of righteousness and put God first in my life. My family kept faith in me and stood by my side during my recovery, though I didn’t deserve it. With my family’s love and God’s love, I knew that I could succeed.
To be successful in recovery, you first have to admit that you have a problem you can’t solve on your own. Truly surrender, and know that God works everything out in His own way. Since coming to Grace Centers of Hope, I have accomplished everything that I needed to have a fulfilling life. I gained a relationship with God, I am loving myself again, I got my driver’s license for the first time EVER, and I got approved for disability. My health has even changed for the better, which I never thought would happen. Most importantly, I have finally gained back the trust of my family that had been lost so many years ago.
No matter how much you struggle, there is hope out there waiting for you. You have to pray and have faith that God will change things for the better. Don’t live in fear of your future or even your rocky past. God comes first, then everything else falls in line!